Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Solving for "e"


Funny how we are so captivated with solving for “e” today, with e-harmony, e-banking, e-commerce, e-learning, e-news, and the list goes on. And in this algorithm of instantaneousness and data, what is it that we are actually solving for? What is “e”?

Recently, I heard Tom Thibodeau speak about servant leadership. He said (I paraphrase) that you never really know yourself until it’s within the context of others. It’s through relationships that we build self-awareness, develop self-regulation, show empathy, solve problems through teamwork, and consider variables when making decisions. It turns out that when we solve for “e,” it equals emotions.

Emotional intelligence and leadership styles that bear consideration for emotional intelligence yield capacity for stronger relationships—ones that give us capability to face adversity, ones that call us beyond ourselves, and ones that elicit civility and professional discernment.

From what I’ve read, developing emotional intelligence is a contemplative practice, and it always helps to start with a framework off from which to work. CASEL recently developed a detailed model for competencies in social and emotional learning.



After solving for “e,” the “e” in e-rewards or any other e-abbreviated word is actually emotion, and being conscientious about your emotional intelligence can not only facilitate environments that are safe, caring, and participatory, but also promote emotional competency such as self-awareness and better relationships. 

How do you solve for "e"? To what extent do you see the "e" in e-mail or e-solutions or e-cards connoting our awareness of our own emotions and how we recognize emotions in others? Do you think that an awareness of emotions in the age of "electronics" is important? How do leaders leverage electronic communication to increase our awareness of emotions? How are you solving for "e"? 

25 comments:

  1. It is through our relationships that we are defined. Put in terms of religious practice, we define ourselves by the higher power that we feel we have a relationship with. We define ourselves through our family relationships. When we attempt to remove our emotional ties to people and issues, we become bland and uninteresting - who wants to be that? It is only through connecting with others on an emotional level that we can come to a consensus that is meaningful and allows all parties to buy-into it. At a minimum, leaders can use electronics to maintain a transparent and connected environment that allows teachers to connect to the school on an emotional level.

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  2. Solving for "e".... As an administrator I would look at emotional intelligence as it relates to technology and human resources in two ways: 1) With the use of technology and the internet we have multiple ways to express our feelings in "real time." This could be very dangerous! We see famous people forgetting to exercise self management and social awareness constantly and suffering the consequences. (there was just a girl kicked off the olympic team for a twitter post) As an administrator you need to "give it time before you hit send."
    2) You also have the opportunity to connect with a large amount of people you may want to influence through technology. It becomes very easy to send a message to staff or possibly the public. Never before have we been able to emotionally connect with large groups in such an efficient way. We can build support in a different capacity now.

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    1. Great point Nick, we all need to be reflective on the content of an email before we hit the send button. Yes, it takes time, but that is where the maturity aspect of our EI comes into play. Hopefully, we can avoid "live and learn" and "road of hard knocks" by heeding this advise. Learning from mistakes is important, learning from others mistakes is even better!

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  3. It is truly all about relationships! To be successful in regards to human relations in schools (or anywhere for that matter), you must have a strong sense of emotional intelligence to be successful. Having emotional intelligence allows you (the leader) to understand those you are leading as well as your own tendencies. By having an awareness of these variables, you can anticipate problems, promote collaborative efforts to problem-solving situations, and keep others' perspectives near and dear to the source. If you can promote and maintain healthy relationships, you can lead in an effective way.

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    1. Building relationships is the key to any successful school. If the staff can trust you and your decisions, it is much easier to implement and maintain a PLC. If you can estblish this mutual respect, collaboration should flow naturally and teachers should ultimately migrate toward one another to solve problems. This emotional intelligence is key, even to the most reluctant teachers. If they just want to shut their door and downplay any collaboration, building that one-on-one relationship with them should help bridge that gap. In an era when people are exposed to a multitude of technology, this should be embraced. Encourage collaboration in any medium where the staff feels comfortable. I would warn people, though, to treat people the same whether you're on-line or face-to-face. One click of the button could ruin a relationship you've invested so much time in. If people simply adhere to the Golden Rule, treating people with respect and honesty, the school climate should reflect this attitude. Transparency and openness should facilitate better teaching and ultimate more learning for the students. That should be our goal!

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  4. Tom Thibodeau understands servant leadership well. He realizes that being a leader is all about the emotions and relationships. In a school setting, it is important to remember we are working with individuals who have strong emotions. How we treat our staff is going to impact our relationships. If we are short and make decisions with only our head and not our heart and head we are going to create a culture of mistrust. It is also crucial to be visible in the school. This small action will show the staff you care and are vested in what they are doing on a day-to-day basis. We can strengthen our relationships with staff through the use of technology. Giving them access to your on-line calendar and posting their accomplishments on the district website are just two ways to use technology as a leader.

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    1. I agree that the visibility part brings a personal touch and added value to each relationship. Just sending out emails doesn't make that connection. A principal needs to be cautious not to seem to be playing favorites, by making a point of a face-to-face visit with each staff member at least once a week can make a world of difference in the school's culture. At the beginning of each year I start a notebook with each person's (staff and my students) picture and name and other info and write down notes about them so that I can "re-use" those tidbits in future conversations (e.g., "I saw your brother at graduation")

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  5. Matt Bumgardner

    When we started this class I assumed that all decisions related to human resources and the role of principal would revolve around policies and procedures only. While policies and procedures are a huge factor, the first day of class it became evident that other factors were at play as well. As we brainstormed the qualities we would look for if we were hiring a teacher for our schools we mostly listed issues involving emotional intelligence. It wasn’t until farther down the list that day that we even started discussing curriculum ability or the understanding of different academic concepts. That was the day that I realized the importance that relationships and the emotional intelligences play in our daily responsibilities as principals or in the area of human resources. As Tom Thibodeau stated it is through relationships that we begin to know and understand ourselves. In order to be a true leader and have people follow you, leaders have to have an understanding of themselves and those they lead. As Tom Thibodeau said it is through relationships that we build self-awareness, develop self-regulation, show empathy, solve problems through teamwork, and consider variables when making decisions. Principals who lead with the emotional intelligences in mind will create school cultures that are caring, empathetic, and collaborative where people work together to solve problems. In this type of culture where everyone is valued and cared about people will be more willing to try new things, share new ideas and display a loyalty to the organization. Principals that foster this type of culture will face less conflict because while staff members may not always agree with decisions, they will understand that the decisions that are being made are not being made to be vindictive or punishing but were rather made after thoughtful careful analysis and in some cases staff impute. As our educational landscape changes more than ever it is going to be important that principals lead with emotional intelligence because they will need to show empathy to a staff member whose benefits are being cut, work collaboratively with teachers to solve daily problems in school as their staff shrinks around them, or just figure out ways to make their staff feel valued when the outside culture may not always seem to agree

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    1. Matt, I agree that principals need to lead with the emotional intelligences in mind. You have to know your staff and build relationships if you want to be an effective leader. In my experiences leadership has not made the efforts to get to know people like they should. That results in less than stellar community building within the school. During this class it has been comforting to know that building a community will have a positive impact on the trust coming from the principal. Good Work, Matt!

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  6. My parents taught me as a child to show respect and treat people with kindness. They didn’t just give me lip service they showed it in action. My father was the pastor of a small church so getting calls from people in need happened on a regular basis. We often would have a homeless person or a transient person at our house for dinner because that is how we could show our kindness. Actions speak louder than our words but our words always need to be seasoned with kindness and grace. That is what this article is talking about. A great school leader needs to remember that it is the relationships that matter first. You can’t create change if the people don’t trust you or believe you care for them. If I lead with emotional intelligence, using my head and my heart, this will create the culture of trust, collaboration and empathy in which the members will want to work together to solve our problems. The climate of education right now is not one of trust. I need my staff to understand that I have their best interests at heart and I will do everything that I can to make their environment healthy. If I am transparent about difficult decisions this will help them to at least understand the reason behind it and hopefully see that there is no vindictive plot. I also can see how technology can help to keep the lines of communication open with staff. I can have my schedule available to them and writing quick notes are a fast and easy way to let them know I am thinking of them. A celebratory web page can highlight accomplishments so all can see. The possibilities are endless for staying connected with our staff and letting them know that we care about them and want them to be successful.

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    1. Kim, I loved your thought about transparency...
      “If I am transparent about difficult decisions this will help them to at least understand the reason behind it and hopefully see that there is no vindictive plot.”

      I think being open and honest is what staff would appreciate. Yes there will be difficult gut-wrenching decisions that will need to be made. Not everyone will like those decisions but if you have built relationships (and kept in mind what is best for the students) hopefully they will be able to respect you. Putting yourself in someone else's shoes can be a task all by itself. Demonstrating respect and showing empathy can go along way.
      This was a thoughtful response, Kim.

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  7. e-decisions

    As a future administrator, I will be charged with making a multitude of decisions every day; some easy and some that will cause sleepless nights. When faced with difficult decisions, I’ve often told my daughters, “what’s right isn’t always easy”. I’m sure the same can be said about many human resource decisions. My day-to-day interactions with staff, students and families is critical in creating a climate of trust and respect. My words and deeds should reflect our shared vision and staff should feel that they are a valued asset in reaching that goal. No one likes being told “no”, but if I have taken the time and effort to build relationships with my staff, they are more likely to respect my e-decision.

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  8. As leaders, whether as an administrator or a teacher leader, the key to success is building relationships. Thibodeau addresses the need for servant leadership as well as emotional intelligence. If we put the needs of others before our own, it will strengthen our relationships. When we focus on emotional intelligence in our relationships, we create an environment of caring, empathy, and trust. Imagine a school culture in which all staff feel cared about, valued, and trusted. Now that's a school I want to be a part of. That's the kind of leader I want to be - focus on relationships, focus on emotional intelligence, build trust, inspire 'just do your job well'.

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    1. Sounds like a great culture of a school! And isn't that what we all truly want. The trick is getting there by having that group of professionals take on the same EI levels as the rest. To get everyone to care and invest with the same passion. It all begins with a leader's vision and positive passion in the field!

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  9. As future administrators, we can learn everything there is to know about leadersrhip styles and theory but if we don't take the time to interpret them in terms of relationships then we're sunk before we start. Knowing who your "players" are before you begin any process of change is key! As principals we need to know how to support the emotional health of our staff (both individually and as a whole) as we push them to new levels professionally. Communication plays a large role in building relationships with people. As administrators we need to remember to listen a bit more than we speak so that we have a full understanding of how our actions will potentially affect others.

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  10. Each or our courses thus far have taken time to focus on two key components: vision and relationships. Emotional Intelligence is a must in order to be a successful leader. As the author states, we begin to know and understand ourselves through relationships. Our district just hired a new superintendent and he has already been quoted several times saying, "I am just going to listen and learn the first 6 months". As frustrating as this can be I feel that I would do the same in an administration role. It takes time to build relationships and to gain trust. However; taking the necessary time will pay off in the long run as the staff gains trust, respect, empathy and begin to "know each other's stories". It takes emotional intelligence to make successful change.

    As for technology, communication has never been easier. However, it also has never been riskier. When used in the right arena technology can really be useful such as a quick email to let someone know they did a great job or that you are sorry their child is ill. It can also be an effective tool for collaboration. People no longer need to find a meeting time that works for everyone as technology can involve everyone. On the opposite side, remember that emotional intelligence also has an important role in the technology world too. People are often braver when writing than they are in person and may say something that wasn't intended because of emotions. Messages can easily be misconstrued and misunderstood. As an administrator, I would be careful about sending messages that could be taken out of context, could make someone feel badly and also I wouldn't respond through email if someone was upset with me. I would go and talk to that person face to face.

    Technology is a wonderful tool but must be used wisely when emotions are in play. My advice would be don't forget to practice the art of conversation.

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    1. I think that's really smart of your administrator to take a step back and watch. Maybe the focus there is to work just on the EI and once that is established, moved forward with the important decision making. Very smart!

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  11. I've been around the block a few times. Casal's graphic "Social & Emotional Learning Core Competencies" is an awesome vision board. This vision can really keep a principal focused on what is important in their practice with PEOPLE. I know it means a great deal to me as an employee. I LOVED where I worked with my first job. I worked there for 15 years and hated to leave. We were really a great group of people that lived and worked by these principles. Then, I moved away and become employed at a dysfunctional school where few of these principles are practiced. The school culture is VERY stressful with many employees developing cancer, heart problems, etc. D you think there is a connection? I have worked there for 15 years also. Ying and Yang in a way, but it has taught me how imperative a person's emotional self can be to their learning. When a trusting relationship has been built among the staff, BOE, and others among the school community then meeting and conferring about the business of education can occur in an open and honest platform. This type of school culture is where we see needed change happening with grace and an aura of stability. Everyone is at ease with taking care of doing the work that is necessary for student achievement. When we can get all 8 cylinders firing then movement is forward. Keep the engine tuned!

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  12. My brilliant mother instilled in me the Golden Rule "Treat Others the Way You Want to Be Treated". Interesting that this life skill seems to be connected to the success of any business or job position. When it really comes down to the core, the success of any endeavor is the relationships that are built along the way. Not just "let's be friends" but the true GENUINE relationships that happen because you truly care about the other person and THEIR successes and failures. EI (emotional intelligence) is about not only recognizing others' feelings, but recognizing your own reactions in certain situations. Being aware of EI can help us grow in our own areas of being better people, as we open our eyes to our thoughts, feelings, and responses to certain situations. Emotions in this day and age are even more important with all the technology involved. With our face paced lives, we can often rush answers, meetings, feedback with others and this can destroy those relationships that are so critical if we are not careful. It will take an extra level of EI awareness in order for us to purposely NOT let a lack of emotion hinder the relationships we want as a prority. Some ways to do this would be to make non-negotiable the facetime you have with those that most need you and your support. A quick call or stop by the office can make all the difference in the world. And don't forget the hand written message! A little note can go a long way. When time becomes short, then the least we can do is remember our own digital etiquette. Starting with a positive "hello" in a message, ending with a "goodbye" and especially just answering back are all ways to building EI in this digital world.

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    1. Hello Leigh Ann ;)

      I like your tips about Emotional Intelligence (I use Emotional Quotient --- but hey, I'm a math teacher). I totally - today's world is very fast paced. There is more asked of us and more technology to work (and communicate) with. Relationships are not bought, they are built OVER TIME. They can also be hurt or destroyed in an instant if we are not careful about our interactions, especially emails or other text forms that lack the nonverbal communication. I love the idea of making sure we are in contact with staff routinely, as well as adding positive comments here and there.

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  13. In education teachers and principals are constantly dealing with the emotional intelligence of all of our students, parents, and staff. This is one thing that makes schools unique everyday. You never know what you're going to experience as the day goes on. It might be a student sharing a personal thought about their family. It might be a math student grasping a difficult skill like dividing fractions. Or it might even be a staff member telling a success story of a challenging student. Whatever the case may be we need to make the connections with our students, parents and staff so that we are truly working together for the greater good. Educators should want everyone to be successful. We should all be trying everything under the sun to make that happen. Hopefully the approach would be more than just reading, math or science from the content area. What do you do that goes above and beyond content? What do you do to engage the class? Teachers and principals need to foster a community-like atmosphere within the vision and mission of the school. The more principals (and teachers) can be visible in the classrooms, at extracurriculars, and in the community the more connectedness we will share with our students. Relationships are huge when it comes to emotional intelligence. As a teacher and an aspiring administrator, I need to keep searching for ways to make the positive connections with my students and staff. The one idea that I will implement with my staff is to hand write personal thank you notes to teachers and student when warranted. Sometimes the time you put into to a small compliment can go even further than the thought itself. Take that twitter!

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    2. I agree it is important for an administrator to be seen and that building relationships with students, staff (and even parents as you allude to) is crucial. The principal can be the "emotional rock" of the school. I bet, if this is the case, this will be emotionally exhausting, as well.

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    3. You are so right about hand written notes. I can think of a few notes I have received during my career that were so timely and really touched me that I still have. Knowing that someone took the time to write something to me was a huge relationship builder and one that I want to be sure to do with my staff. Nice response Tom.

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  14. I think "e," or emotion, has a definite tie with human resources. Emotions are a strong driving force in people's lives, including their work life, for better or worse. For this reason, school leaders need to have a strong awareness of their emotions. A high emotional quotient (EQ) is needed to lead to behavior that is sensitive, responsible and inline with district and school mission, vision and values. Emotionally we are all different. A good administrator is aware of their own emotional strengths and weaknesses, and manages them appropriately. Similarly, they are in tune with the emotions of others around them, showing understanding and empathy. A high priority is placed on relationship making with an emphasis on working productively in learning communities and dealing with issues in a positive manner.

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